Dealing With Disagreement Like Christ Would

Today I wish to discuss a topic which pains me very much: religious and political disagreement. It is such a touchy thing to talk about, and everyone seems to have their own explanation for our own beliefs. When someone questions our beliefs we become defensive and often don't listen to what the other person has to say. Likewise, when we attack someone the beliefs of someone we know, consciously or not, it can damage the relationship. We often have a greater love for truth than we do for our own friends. That, I believe, is the issue at hand, not necessarily the truths over which the world constantly bickers and squabbles.

Discussion is good, and I encourage it. It will always come to a point where we will have differing opinions on even the tiniest issue, and we can and should seek to enlighten those around us so that we can agree if we choose.

I am a verbally political person in that I am not afraid to state my beliefs loud and clear. I served a mission for the LDS church for two years and endured many extraordinarily difficult things for my beliefs. I was accused of everything under the sun, from being a Satan worshiper, to being a liar, and even to being a spy. These were all people that I had dedicated my time to help have a happier life, but they refused to see it that way. I shared the exact same knowledge with everyone. But many desired that I not so much as converse with them because of my religious affiliation.

Other people really didn't want to listen to my message either, but they did want to feel loved. They would rough it out through my myriad attempts to help them understand the universe in a light more similar to my own and feed my companions and I delicious lunches and snacks in the process, frequently sacrificing their skimpy funds in order to do so. They overcame their prejudices against "los mormones" chasing people down in the streets and found within themselves the great love that we all have deep down one for another, and they acted on it. In return, we would wake up early in the morning and put on grubby clothes to get on their unfinished roofs and help them to lay a cement ceiling for their home. We would go to their shops, give them of our business day in and day out, help them receive shipments and meet new people as we sat on bags of dog food eating sandwiches. They invited us to meet their families, and to this day I hold very precious and sacred those times and people. They are part of my family, now. I learned that by giving of my might, mind, strength and soul to those who affirm that they never will accept my teachings, I can forge lasting friendships with those people, and I wouldn't exchange those relationships for any money or gift possible to receive in this world or the next.

I believe in Jesus Christ, and that the LDS church is His religious organization. I will stand to that belief until I meet Him face to face. It is not a perfect knowledge that this is true, but a firm and steadfast belief indeed (double entendre intended). You don't have to. There is a lot of good in a lot of different organizations that agree to disagree with us. I do expect you to come to grips with one irrefutable truth, however. Brotherly and neighborly love is the most fulfilling of all qualities, especially when it is mutual.

"1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

 4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

--1 Corinthians 13

Here, Paul teaches us the same, that charity is even more important than knowledge and the ability to prophesy, more than giving all that we have to the poor without truly caring for them. Charity rejoices in truth, so when a charitable person discovers truth he/she embraces it, and learns to cope with the consequences. Even so, when someone who might be less charitable rejects a truth, he/she will continue to love and cherish that unbeliever because "charity never faileth" and "seeketh not her own".

This is very difficult to do when emotions are high, something that it extremely normal for religious/political discussions because if one is proven wrong it creates cognitive dissonance and large amounts of stress in his/her psyche. It's not fun or easy to deal with, and I am still learning to remember that I love those with whom I disagree. As I do good for them, agree or disagree, we both come closer to Christ because we avoid the spirit of contention, which is not of the Lord.

So today, when you go on to your Facebook or Twitter feed, and you see a post that defiles what you think is true (whether it be political or religious or otherwise,) instead of reacting in the common way of retaliation and spite or arguing, try to find within yourself charity. "Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love..." (Moroni 7:48). Ask them how they are doing. Spend time wishing them well, and if you live close by, go out and get some ice cream with them and catch up on old times. If they are vegan and don't like to eat ice cream, go out and eat something that they would despite your affection for bacon. Remember that you do love them, and act accordingly. Remember that you love truth as well, and that your mind and body will fight you along the way as you treat with kindness and respect what they will label as an idiot. Their mind and body will do the same. It's a natural defense mechanism.

Though I am totally imperfect in this regard, the times that I have done it I have noticed that it was worth my time and effort. It takes practice. Are you willing to make the necessary change?

How to Fight Negative Perceptions With Tree Nuts And a Stick

Watch this;  I can cause you to feel completely different about the exact same idea simply by mentioning positive or negative statements about it.

Example 1: This product has killed millions of children throughout the existence of mankind. It has sparked wars, land disputes and feuds for generations. It is no good! Why would anyone want a product that is used for torture in such a widespread and well known way?

Example 2: This product can save your life every day. It can help you to lose weight, balance your system and assists in anaerobic exercise. Your children need this product in order to survive. Thank goodness that it is so abundant! What would we ever do as the human race without our beloved WATER!!!!

Yes. All the statements that I have made are true. I didn't lie (except for the "no good" part, but since opinions are subjective it doesn't really matter). What happened? It is the very same substance seen in two extremely contradictory lights. Anything and everything has upsides and downsides as stated by Charles Dickens in A Tale of Two Cities:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way"

It all boils down to labeling. Advertisers are brilliant as using this technique to influence you to buy a product. Critics use it to tell you whether or not to see a certain movie. Literary geniuses employ this savvy method to shape your view on characters in their books and the morality of their actions. When abused, this tactic can cause job loss, divorce, lawsuits and it can drive people to suicide.

Have you ever felt labeled unfairly? I know that in my life I have felt bullied and attacked personally because of the words of others. It has affected how I view myself. Are the people that label others unjustly evil? Nope. Just misguided. So instead of returning the favor and labeling them back, how about we adopt a different perspective. 

Take Link, for instance. Link is a young Hyrulian kid with the vertical challenges of a leprechaun and the fighting style of a first-grader. All he has is a puny dagger and a wooden shield to begin with. His friends label him as worthless and incapable. The gods beg to differ and send him on an epic quest with awesome music. To commence this intense journey through space and time he kills a GARGANTUAN spider with tree nuts launched from a y-shaped stick.

To all of you who have felt as I have because of the verbal violence of others' mental flatulence, I ask a question: Who do you believe: the gods, or Link's friends? Why? What would have happened if the gamer, upon hearing the negativity of Link's friends, decided that the game wasn't worth his time because his character was worthless? What if we were to adopt the mentality, but not the violence, of course, of video games concerning our self esteem? We have weaknesses, but our strengths are what matter.

While we really do have negative attributes that others are most willing to point out, never fail to remember all the good that you have done in the world. If someone says that you are rude, think of all the nice things that you have said in the past. Maybe what you said or did in that moment was over the top and uncalled for. Instead of assuming that it means that your ARE a BAD person, think of things that aren't evil that you can do and decide to act on them to the best of your ability. Compliment that person on their astuteness and awareness and move on. If they want to label you, it's their issue, not yours. They can learn to treat people differently while you go on to prove them wrong.

Take your stick and tree nuts and use it to be a successful... whatever you are going to be. Don't let negativity bring you down!

"Judge not that ye be not judged"

I had a great lesson from a guy that I met last night at my work where I sell plants in a roadside tent. Right as I needed to go home, a man pulled up in a truck and I immediately went a little tense. At 8 o'clock at night in an empty parking lot, I don't exactly trust a lot of the people that come by. This guy was looking a little rough around the edges. He had obviously been in some sort of a minor accident in the past few days from the cuts and bruises on him, and he didn't speak very proper English, though he was a white guy. I wasn't exactly excited for him to be there, and I sure as heck double checked that everything was locked up.

Though I smelled fish, I decided to listen to him and didn't show this original suspicion based on my prejudice toward him. He began by explaining why he was looking for flowers that night. A friend of his had died a year ago, and he had gone to visit the friend's grave for the week of memorial day. They had grown up together, and it upset him that the family did absolutely nothing for their daughter for memorial day. He wanted to spruce up the overgrown grave site and even was willing to pay for a headstone so that she could rest with dignity.

We talked for a good chunk of time. I offered what little help I could in finding work. I knew of a few job openings and told him where he could apply. He discussed his past work experience and he turned out to be a very amiable person.

Now, I do not believe that I was wrong in pulling up my defenses internally towards a sketchy figure at night. Had something happened, those defenses could have saved my life and a lot of money for the company. My point is, I listened first, and then I spoke, or acted, accordingly. Had I gone off of my initial gut feeling alone, which wasn't good, I might have treated him differently and remained closed to a very noble person. Instead, I received a sweet lesson in humanity, and even could have taken the opportunity to share the Gospel with this good man.

I am very grateful for the progress that I am making in coping with new ideas and people that appear different. It brings me peace to know that I am moving towards a better understanding of people, and my love for God's children increases each time that I make the effort. My love for my own self also increases, and I have a better self-image as I learn that imperfections do not define us, rather goodness.

I close with a quote from the movie that I watched last night with a few friends: Secondhand Lions. Robert Duval says

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most: that people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love, true love, never dies... No matter if they're true or not, a man should believe in those things because those are the things worth believing in.

Amen to that. The challenge that I leave for this week is probably very obvious. Try to listen to someone that you normally would never talk to, and get to know them before metaphorically throwing the first stone at them. You never know when you will find a true friend in someone that appears very different from you.