Transgender Bathrooms: What Would Cause The Least Uproar

To begin, I think transgenderism is a tough subject due to all the emotions involved. Those who live with gender dysphoria have a great challenge ahead of them in their life. Everyone recognizes that.

I personally don't believe it is healthy to encourage the use of hormone pills or surgery to "change" genders unless you're the rare occurrence of "intersex" individuals. You might disagree, and that's ok because, if you do, the general public consensus tends to be on your side.

So, though I affirm that the best option is to not socially promote transgenderism, I wish to assert myself in declaring the second best option. And I will explain myself. Read on.

Let people use the bathroom of the gender that their doctor says they are.

All those who suffer from gender dysphoria should see a doctor. A psychologist would be best. Those doctors can inform them of the options, but also should instruct them concerning the side effects (like increased suicide rates) of pursuing a gender swap fantasy (because that's really what a gender "swap" is. Pretending to be the opposite sex).

Trans people can wear rather convincing facades. Much of the time you wouldn't even notice. Some who only have y chromosomes now have beards. How would you like a bearded individual entering the ladies' room? Or a busty person taking a pee next to you in the men's room?

You'd likely flip a biscuit.

Now, a valid argument comes forth that some pervert is going to pretend to be trans to enter the opposite restroom. Newsflash: they already could have done that for years. Plus, predators don't pick busy areas for their attacks; they select secluded areas.

Therefore, Target's decision to allow people to choose is still safe if you go during busy times and wait outside for your kids. You could even hide behind an assertion that they haven't picked their gender yet and take them to whichever bathroom you use.

Concerning having gender neutral bathrooms, trans people make up .85% of the population. It's extreme to take measures to construct a third bathroom in every building and take up all that space that we currently use for other things, all to accomodate less than one percent of people who are fine with using our current system.

To finish, be kind to those with whom you disagree on this topic. My hope is that the way I phrased this was not rude, though it is opinionated. Remember that being at odds with a viewpoint does not make you disrespectful. Being condescending makes you disrespectful. 

How To Avoid Being Offensive While Maintaining Your Beliefs

Gay marriage. Abortion. Socialism. Capitalism. Gun rights. Immigration. Religion.

If reading those topics just now didn't cause you to relive memories of poorly worded discussions online, welcome to the Internet. You must be a first time user. People's opinions vary so widely on those issues that nobody agrees 100% on every one of them. 

I've spent countless hours on online forums dissecting these issues. In so doing, I've discovered a few tendencies that, if stopped, would greatly benefit the online community, as well as a few that we should all pick up. As I've applied these concepts I've gained friendships and avoided nastier discussions that could have happened.

The should stops:

1. The use of Straw Man arguments 

This means that you put up a weak claim that supports your opponent's position and knock it down as if with great intellectual prowess.

Example: Dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) is the main component of acid rain. Therefore we shouldn't ingest it. In fact, we should ban it.

DHMO is water. Yes, people die in it, the government has a system under your city for distributing it, wars are fought over it, etc. You still need it to live.

So, stop saying that Bernie supporters are all under 25 and just want free stuff. I'm not a Bernie supporter, but most of the people I know that have felt the Bern are actually  middle aged with degrees. Stop saying all atheists hate the world. Stop affirming that conservatives are all racist gun nuts. It's not true.

2. Twisting words

    

Many people confuse the concept of asking clarifying questions with word twisting and manipulative phrasing.

  

Example: "You're a Mormon, so you believe in a pedophile that hallucinated and wrote a false book. Am I right?"

As a Mormon, I know exactly where that conversation is going, and it isn't going to be about what I believe. It will be about what you want me to believe in order to justify your disdain. With. Out. Fail. This questioner is trying to win an argument, which is impossible. Nobody wins if it becomes an argument. 

  

Instead of shouting out preconceived notions, a person who truly wants to know what Mormons believe would ask a Mormon why they don't think Joseph Smith was a fraud, or why they claim to have the only true church on the planet.

   

This means holding back and being willing to listen. 

Be cautious with "so what you're trying to say." If you end up rephrasing what they've said in a manner that makes it support your argument as opposed to theirs you gone done goofed.

 3. Name calling  

Telling someone they're an idiot takes no intelligence or special ability. All it does it assert that you believe yourself to be smarter than the other person and that their opinion is inconsequential. This also applies to negatively labeling ideas as neanderthal, stupid, unintelligent, etc. 

    

When someone consistently hears harsh comments like that, it seeps into their subconscious mind. If you constantly call people, or their ideas, names it makes you an abusive individual. There is no other way to phrase that. 

If you struggle with this you can change by addressing the person's idea with facts, sources, and logic instead of simply trying to refute it by shouting it down.

4. False dichotomy

Either you support my gay marriage or you're a bad person. Either you like Reagan or you're a communist. Either you like Mexican people or you want the immigration laws to remain as they are. Either Trump scares you or you're a Nazi.

Look for the third option. Avoid extremes. Acknowledge the fact that if someone likes apples they can like oranges, too.  

Fix this by asking yourself if it's possible for both sides to be true. Work other variables into the equation. What other factors affect the situation?

The should starts:

1. Defend the opposition

  

What!? You heard me. Stand up for what others believe every once in a while, especially in the absence of opposing views. Call out people who are doing the "should stops" but who are on your side. Point out straw man arguments, regardless of whether or not they'll think you disagree with them. Ask your friend if they have the source for the meme they posted.

As I've done this it really throws people off. They'll start talking about how I'm a stupid liberal and reel back when I explain that I'm conservative like them.

It really helps the world if we all hold everyone equally responsible for being academically correct.

2. Compliments 

Say nice things about well phrased stances. Mention the pleasantries about those with whom you debate the tough subjects. Discuss what you like about those with whom you generally disagree. If someone attacks a person that believes the opposite of everything that you hold dear, repudiate the offense with kind words about your nemesis. 

This isn't Batman vs Joker. It's Batman vs Superman. It's Captain America vs Ironman. Both sides fight for what they think is right.

By doing this you will have a more positive world view and you will gain the respect of others. You'll also build a better rapport with them and they may ask you about why you've come to believe what you do. It opens the doors for friendships.

3. Ask clarifying questions

I've kind of already explained the inverse, but applying this concept is important. If you don't understand your opponent's viewpoint you don't understand the subject fully. Ask away. Try to convince yourself that what they're saying is true, because if it is, you're wrong. It's ok to admit that. You're a liar if you don't. If you believe your argument to be sound you should have no qualms about learning about theirs.

4. Mention what you don't mean to say

Since most others won't ask those clarifying questions, you should answer them in your original statement. This aids your effort to be tactful. 

Listen to the difference between these next two statements.

"I don't like the Catholic Church, their doctrines, or all the lucre their leaders have."

And

"I love Catholic people, and I respect their humanitarianism, but I don't like some of the doctrines they teach. I'm not saying that all Catholics are greedy, but I do, however, have some major differences with the amount of lucre they put into their leadership positions."

I literally said the same thing in both statements, but the second one reduces the ability of someone who likes the Catholic Church to say that I'm just a hateful person. They still can call me that all they want, but they can't pull that from my words without ignoring huge indicators that I am trying to show that I'm not. I've shown that I know about the positive aspects of the Catholic Church, and that I know very good Catholic people. I've also shown that I don't want to offend those people, but I've expressed that I am against some parts of their organization rather clearly.

Try it. See if these things change your ability to connect with other people who disagree with you. Don't take my word for it. It works. I've done it. Prove me wrong.